"I've finally made it"

I get someone to 'see me'
and then what?

A lot of comments from people I don't know 
some likes to add to the show that I have 

finally 

proven my worth 
Funny, how I used to care about metrics and mayhem
raising the stakes so that I, fingers crossed, could say

"I've finally made it"

Only to sit back down in my fame 
and miss the quietness of not being known 
in my little home 
when only three people knew my name 
and, still, I was never alone 

I guess I've grown from the days of trying to 'make it' 
I guess I got bored
of this path to the idea of 'assured success'
Asserting myself in the noise and the mess 

I guess I want something different 

that, right now, I don't know 
I only have space for seeds to quietly sow

I suppose
I'm checking out of every rat race
to do life at my own rhythm and pace 

with love,

Emma